The Fear That Competence Ends LoveUsing helplessness to secure connection and safety

From the show

Rewiring Attachment Patterns

Strategic incompetence is an unconscious defense mechanism where capable people feign helplessness to ensure they are cared for. This behavior stems from a deep-seated fear that total self-sufficiency leads to emotional abandonment. By identifying tasks you habitually avoid, you can prove to yourself that being capable does not destroy your relationships.